Sunday, November 30, 2008

Lord and Lady Bollocks

So while having a drink at what is now a traditional TGIF after work session at Foredeck in Jolly Harbour, some of the Adventure Antigua crew told me about the funniest story I have heard come from the boats in a while. There was a group of six British people on the Xtreme Circumnav and the rest of the guests were mostly from the USA. Anyway, Cpt. JD takes the guests up the North side of Antigua into the Sound passing all the little islands including hells gate seen here from a photo taken on the Eco Tour
and then moves through the myriad of coral reef dodging shallow spots over towards Stingray City. Just like normal, JD and the crew organize drinks for everyone there before giving a snorkeling lesson/refresher course. Then JD introduces the guys from the park who give their briefings before everyone goes into the waters for the first snorkeling session of the day... this time with the rays and other fish inside the park.

Picture 212sm
Anyway, while setting up drinks one of the Brits said to another "My Lord, what would you like to drink?" With that simple question JD says that one of the Americans up front nearly dropped her drink. He said he saw her eyes almost pop out of her head. Later while they were getting ready to get into the water the lady asked one of the Brits if it was true that he was a Lord. Without any hesitation the man said, "why yes madam. I am Lord Bollocks". JD said that the lady looked so amazed and quickly turned to the gentleman's wife and asked if she that meant she was a "Lady". The wife says "yes i am Lady Bollocks". JD nearly wet himself but didn't know what to do about the situation. The Brits were clearly having a good laugh at the expense of one of his guests. Anyway, the tour went on and not much was said more on the topic thankfully.
green island blue sky
At lunch one of the other American guests asked "Lord Bollocks" if he lived in a huge house. Without flinching or smiling at all, "Lord Bollocks" said that he lived in at "Bollocks Castle" with a great many servants. Some of the guests asked the Lords if they could take photos of them and they agreed to pose for the pics.
For those of you who don't know, "bollocks" is an old English word for testicles. Check the wiki definition which sums it up pretty well.
I am not sure what I would have done on that tour if I were skipper. That was pretty mean of the Lord and Lady (and the other Brits on board), but the American lady seemed very impressed and happy to have met some British "royalty". You can imagine the story back at the ship that night. In a way there was no harm done because nobody seemed to figure it out, but that doesn't make it right. Should JD have taken the Brits aside and told them to stop? I dunno. Anyway, to all Americans reading this please be aware of the meaning of bollocks so that you may never fall for this one! AND to the Brits reading this: please stop making fun of people!!!!! VERY NAUGHTY!!!
Here is the Xtreme vid for those who haven't seen it: